If I were an Adventure of Sherlock Holmes?
-My Baker Street Irregulars investiture name is “Kitty Winter,” and I adore that–so I imagine that I would be “The Adventure of the Illustrious Client.”
If I were a canonical object or place?
-I’d be honored to think of myself as Milverton’s unnamed assassin’s handgun. I’m not in any way violent, but I do think words matter, and words can be bullets, and words can change things. So in the feminist spirit of the window who rid us of the Master Blackmailer, take that! And that! And that!
If I were a quality of the great detective?
-We are both highly empathetic to other people’s mistakes. Holmes is constantly letting criminals off the hook because he understands their motives and wants to give them another chance–I strongly identify with that ethic.
And a fault?
-Unfortunately, I know all too well what it feels like to try to turn off all your feelings and operate solely as a brain. I’ve been doing it for many years. But I have therapists, thankfully, and Holmes didn’t! He did have Watson, which admittedly is ten times better.
If I were a canonical villain?
-Oh, I’d be Silver Blaze, of course–the finest murderer in the canon, and excellent taste in his victims for kicking purposes!
A canonical woman?
-Well, everyone wants to be Irene Adler of dubious and questionable memory, don’t we? Be yourself, ladies. Unless you can be Irene Adler. In that case, be Irene Adler.
If I were an untold story?
-I’d be a trained cormorant, definitely.
If I were a pastiche?
-I’d be Dust and Shadow!
If I were A Sherlock Holmes movie or TV Show?
-I’d be Asylum’s Sherlock Holmes, running about battling dinosaurs and krakkens and firing a gatling gun from a dirigible.
If I were actor who played Sherlock Holmes?
-Lord, I wish I could give a more dignified response, but I am so completely the Robert Downey Jr Holmes. Chaotic, funny, addicted, sad, wry, messy. Hands down.
And a Watson?
-Oh, David Burke! The first Watson of the Granada series. He has so much joy when he’s watching his friend be amazing–he looks about ten years old and I adore it.
If I were an unanswered question in the stories?
-It’s rather dark, but I’ve always wondered what happened to Sherlock Holmes to make him shut off all feelings and erase mention of his entire childhood. It’s not just smoke and mirrors–there is some serious trauma there, I’m convinced, but we’ll never know what.
If I were a scent, a color or a sound related to Sherlock Holmes?
-I can answer this one lightning fast: my favorite color, electric blue.
If I were a canonical quote?
-“Work is the best antidote to sorrow.”
Can you tell a happy memory related to Sherlock Holmes?
-There are too many to count. Honestly, this is impossible. My whole life is Sherlock Holmes. How about the time I was wandering around the old city in Istanbul and spied a quote attributed to Sherlock Holmes graffitied on an ancient wall in Turkish?
If you could Meet Sherlock Holmes, Watson or Arthur Conan Doyle, what would you like him to tell you?
-I’d actually like a long fireside chat with Mrs. Hudson–she’d deliver way more dirt than any of those guys!
La gazette du 221 B 